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Tuesday, August 15th, 2006
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8:53 pm - Changes, changes and more changes
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I can't believe how much things have changed in the last few weeks. Abigail is grabbing at things, although she still hasn't "recognized" her hands. I'm heartened, though, by the fact that she loves to grab people's hair and put her hands in their mouths. She also played for the first time on Sunday, grabbing at those interlocking rings, and beating the crap out of the little tray that attaches to her swing. We can leave her in her swing, awake, for more than a minute at a time.
Speaking of leaving her awake in her swing, another big development is that she's MUCH more cheerful these days. She's always been a happy baby, but for her first two months or so, her bad tummy had us all being less than cheerful. A mixture of anti-gas stuff, better formula, and a more mature tummy has all but eliminated those problems. Our little stinkerbutt actually has a great personality, smiling all the time, curious about everything, and quite aware of all her surroundings.
Today her surroundings included her Aunt Debbie's house, and then her Grandma's office. It was her first time meeting Aunt Debbie, and they hit it off like that. Debbie ignored me for the first 15 minutes we were there, making faces & talking to her. Thankfully she remembered I was there after that, and we had a great time. Abigail did have a meltdown at about 1:00, but she was tired & overstimulated, so it was understandable. She slept solidly from then until about 4:00 (even slept through being shown around Grandma's office!).
Sleeping is the other part of the good news. She's got a BEDTIME now! Every night I make sure she's bathed (okay, that's every other night) and has her jammies on by 8:00, and she's ready for sleep by at least 9:30. Tonight was a bath night, and after we were done at around 8:00 I fed her in her bedroom, and since she was falling asleep anyway, put her down. She's been in her crib since 8:30, only making an occasional small noise. Okay, maybe a little more than that. As soon as I wrote that last, she starting make a little more than small noises. Oh, well. That's to be expected - she's not quite 3 months old now, and it'll be a while before she really gets a good schedule down pat.
So, check the flickr page here, and I'm going to go take care of stinkerbutt.
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| Thursday, July 27th, 2006
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4:27 pm - Smiles and tongues, poo and gas
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Miss Abigail is over two months old now, and I can hardly believe how much life has changed since she was "little". We've all gotten used to eachother, and I have fallen completely in love with her. Every little thing she does is adorable to me, and her smiles just melt my heart.
We have a new game, the tongue game. After I've changed her diaper (on her changing table; we haven't gotten to the point where we change it anywhere else yet), we'll stick out our tongues at eachother for 20 minutes or so, with her cooing and smiling the whole time, and me grinning and babbling nonsense like a fool. We also have play time every day, where I set her on her Kick n' Crawl (something like this, but not exactly) and she bats around the ball. After about 10 minutes of that, though, she gets frustrated & cries. She hasn't quite figured out her hands yet, and I think she knows there's something she's missing, but she doesn't quite get it, which frustrates her.
On the bad side, she's been constipated for a while. Not the no-poo kind, but the once a day or so pebble poo that makes her scream. She gets prune juice once or twice a week, and that does the trick for a bit. For the last week or so it's been getting better, so we're just hoping it stays that way. One thing that hasn't gotten better is her gas. Thank God there's Mylicon (well, Targeticon, as we call it. The real stuff is expensive), which makes her life quite a bit more bearable. She still has crying fits, but they don't last as long, and she's more easily calmed. That, and we're more used to her crying, so it doesn't panic us the way it did at the beginning.
We've gotten used to having a baby, and are now enjoying the little quirks that make our baby unique.
current mood:  cheerful
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| Thursday, July 6th, 2006
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10:46 pm - A whole year!
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Today was my post-labor OB appointment, at which I was told that the doctor standing in for my OB (my OB left for a three week vacation the day before I went into labor) said I did very well through my labor. Yay me! He also gave me some birth control pills and said "I'll see you in a year". I almost missed what he said because Abigail was screaming so loudly by that point that my ears were nearly bleeding.
So, now my life has gone from revolving around the OB's office to revolving around the pediatrician's office. Which reminds me, I need to call and ask if the Target brand formula is okay, whether I can give her another diluted prune juice bottle for her constipation, and if green vomit is something I should worry about. Really, it's not all that different. ;o)
current mood: chipper
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| Friday, June 30th, 2006
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10:07 pm - The most horrifying thing EVER
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Tonight it happened. That thing that all new parents dread but know is inevitably going to happen, because Fate likes it when we pee our pants: The Fall.
Our changing table is for now a dresser, about 4 feet high or so, with a changing table pad & cover on it. This is because the people we're getting our changing table & crib from STILL haven't been available for pick-up (long story). So, things in Abigail's room are pretty disheveled, and because of that there's a box with assorted stuff on the floor to the left of the "changing table". It was into this box that Miss Abigail propelled herself this evening. I can't even begin to express my terror, my horror, my overriding guilt that I was rummaging through the drawer for a suitable sleep onesie instead of keeping an eye on her. Why was I not more careful? Because I was standing in front of the "changing table", and as such assumed she was safe from fall. Thanks to my ignorance of the range of directions in which infants can roll, I'm now a nervous wreck while she sleeps peacefully, thinking to myself "if her ribs were broken, she'd be screaming, right?", and "I hope there's no internal damage". Intellectually I know she's fine, that if she wasn't fine, she'd let me know. Emotionally, though, I can't help but think I'm going to be punished for my negligence in the form of a horrific, crippling injury as well as major brain damage that will together conspire to make her life a poor substitute of what she would have had if her mother had just paid more attention.
However, there's no marks on her, she doesn't scream when I touch her ribs or limbs, and she's kept to her regular schedule tonight (insofar as she's developed a schedule). I may not recover from this for a long time, but I think she's already forgotten it. :o)
current mood:  scared
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| Wednesday, June 28th, 2006
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11:41 pm - Little update
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I've wanted to post a big update, but now Abigail's five weeks and I realize that between taking care of her, working, and trying to maintain some sort of relationship with Jason, I have NO time to take a good hour or so to make the post I want to make. Ah, well. I'll figure it out soon enough.
First, another link to my Flickr site. Because I have an adorable baby and all must admire her adorableness. My Flickr page. There!
After a month off, I went back to work on June 19, from home (thank God!). Things have been really good since then - near the end of that month I had off, I started to feel like I didn't have much of a purpose. Now that I'm trying to balance taking care of Abigail, keeping the apartment in order, paying attention to Jason (because I've found it's really easy to ignore him in the attempt to keep the baby happy), and saving some time just for me, I feel quite fulfilled. We're not doing great as far as money goes, and honestly I do wish we'd waited a bit longer to get pregnant, but oh, well. We have an absolutely beautiful baby girl, and even though she's a bit colicky (dear God save us from the COLIC!), she's the best thing that's ever happened to us.
About our little stinkerbutt... she's got an EXTREMELY sensitive stomach - I had to quit breastfeeding because it was just too stressful. When I ate lasagna, it upset her stomach. When I ate Tostidos cheese dip, it upset her stomach. When I ate garlic, it upset her stomach. After I cut all spicy stuff out of my diet and she was still crying constantly, I decided it was time to switch to formula, because the only other option was to cut out dairy. Now, when I got pregnant, I decided I'd breastfeed for at least two months. It's better for the baby, gives baby and Mom a better bond, and it's a hell of a lot cheaper than formula feeding. However, I didn't think I'd have a kid with the world's most sensitive stomach on my hands. She's calmed down since I switched to formula, but we've had to put her on the most gentle of formulas, the one with the proteins already partially broken down. Still she has excessive gas and cries for at least two hours every day. Still, though, she's a great little stinker, and I love her SO MUCH.
Milestones we've reached so far: she's cooing & aahing, she follows visual and auditory cues, she's sleeping fine in both her swing and her bassinet, she only poos ONCE per day (a nice side effect of switching to formula...), she sleeps for at least three hours at a time - sometimes as many as five, and she's the cutest damn thing I've ever seen.
Speaking of the stinkerbutt, she's stirring, so I'm going to get a bottle ready. I'm more used to the crying than I was when she was two weeks old, but I still hate to leave her sitting while I make her bottle. Usually, I pick her up and then make the bottle. With the complicated, five-part bottles we got, that's quite a challenge!
current mood: cheerful
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| Thursday, June 22nd, 2006
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2:47 pm
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I'll have the one month update written up soon, but for now I just want to post a link to the Flckr page I've started:
minda25's Flickr page.
Photos of me are GHASTLY, but I have to deal with that, because I must share the Cuteness of Abigail with the world.
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| Friday, June 2nd, 2006
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9:55 am - So much to say
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Last night was a very good night for Miss Abigail and I. I was so worried that she wouldn't sleep at all, because she slept from around 5:00 until 11:30, with just a couple of wakings up to eat. Amazingly, though, at around 12:45 she and I went to sleep for a good 3 hours. Even better was when she went back to sleep after being awake for only an hour, giving us another 3 1/2 hours of sleep. Now it's 10:00, I've been awake for about an hour, and the little stinkerbutt's asleep again. What's totally amazing about that is she's asleep in her SWING. Usually she'll sit in it for a while, not complaining but certainly not sleeping. I guess she's making up for sleep lost yesterday, when she pretty much omitted 3 hours from our sleep schedule. She seems to do this, less sleep one day, more sleep the next. Of course, she's not even two weeks old yet, so it's hard to say what's a pattern and what's just a one- or two-time fluke.
So, this week's major discovery has been orange poop. That's perfectly normal, I hear, but I still marvel at it. It's orange and it comes in great quantities, sometimes explosively. We'll have a permanent orange stain on the changing table cover from yesterday's mishap, I'm sure. I was absolutely amazed - I had the diaper still beneath her & partly covering her, waiting for her to pee (because she seems to only do this after we wipe her while changing diapers). She managed to miss the protective cover of the diaper - no mean feat, considering there was only a half-inch or so that wasn't covered - and spurt orange poo for a good foot. I'm telling you, we have one talented daughter!
current mood: chipper
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| Thursday, June 1st, 2006
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7:45 pm - Happy Doctor's Visit
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Today was Miss Abigail's second doctor visit, and the whole thing went very well (even though we sat in the waiting room for an hour). I have to say, our little girl is perfect. She was quiet the whole wait before going to see the doctor, and only started crying when we took off her onesie in that chilly room. She stopped crying once she was back in the carseat, and only made some noise on the way out, when another little baby was crying. I hope this lasts!
Anyway, the doctor praised us for doing a wonderful job - she's gained a half pound since last week, and grown a half inch. We noticed her umbilical stump was barely hanging on, so the doctor sped things up and got it all the way off for us. Thank God that's gone! Now there's just a bit more healing to do, and her tummy will be tickle-riffic!
As far as us, things are going well and getting better. We have bumps, like her waking up at 4:00 this morning and not going back to sleep (except for a few minutes here & there) until 9:00. She kept wanting to eat, so finally I put some stored breast milk in a bottle and gave her that. She was finally satisfied with that, and fell asleep within minutes. We're all still figuring this thing out, though, and some kinks are to be expected. One thing I really look forward to is being able to wake up for the day at a decent time, instead of between 11:00 and 12:00. I'd also like to be able to get things done. Today I considered it a job well done that I got her clean clothes put away, got a shower, and got her to the doctor all before 3:30 (well, Jason got home in time to come to the doctor with us).
Speaking of Jason, I have to give him praise again. When he comes home, I know I won't have to change any diapers, and can rely on him to watch her for as long as I need him to so I can take a nap. Not that I've been able to sleep during those naps, but I still appreciate the opportunity to have some downtime. He's also full of praise for me, which helps keep me going during rough times like this morning.
One thing does concern me: she's not really sleeping in her bassinet yet. We'd put her in bed with us (on a nearly flat pillow between us - she was very safe) for the first week, and haven't been able to get her to night-sleep in the bassinet yet. She napped in it yesterday, but today I forgot to use it. I really want her to not sleep with us anymore - she's started rolling a bit, and I worry that she'll roll off and smother herself. Then there's the fact that we need to have our bed to ourselves. We'll keep trying, though, and I'm sure we'll have her sleeping properly soon.
Well, the little stinkerbutt is stirring, and I want her to stay awake for a while so I can get some sleep during the night, so it's playtime!
current mood: happy
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| Wednesday, May 31st, 2006
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6:51 pm - Hello, world!
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Last Sunday at 2:01 a.m., after 37 weeks and 3 days gestation, Abigail Marie was born. I had been worried that I might not know the signs of labor... ha! My water broke, in a big way. I made a big old mess running from the patio to the bathroom. Thank goodness our carpet needed replacing anyway!
Miss Abigail was 7 pounds 5 ounces, and 19 1/2 inches long at birth. We had a pretty good, 14 hour labor & delivery, with just one hour of pushing. I broke down & got the epidural once the contractions went around to my back - what horrible pain! After that, though, the labor went great. I can't even describe how awesome Jason was. He was afraid he wouldn't be able to handle watching it, and might even pass out. He was right by my side through the whole thing, though, and even watched her being born. I'd like to say that I was overcome with love and excitement, but I have to say that the strongest emotion I felt after she was born was exhaustion.
We stayed in the hospital for a couple of days, the first of which Abigail slept pretty much exclusively. The second night, though, she decided it was time to start eating, and Jason and I were completely unprepared. Thank God for the nurse, who saw we needed help and gave it willingly. She swaddled Abigail up tight and put her in bed with me. We actually fell asleep with my breast in her mouth, and were woken up that way by the OB the next morning! I was embarrassed, but not as much as I might have been - in those two days, entirely too many people saw my breasts. I guess that's all part of the experience, though.
Anyway, we've been home since last Monday evening, and the terror level has been going down with every day that passes. It's been kind of difficult so far, with a couple of really bad nights where something I ate upset her tummy, and then last night her having to go on formula for the night because something I ate really upset my tummy. I wasn't about to make her go through the nastiness & pain that caused me. I think she got a little of the icky stuff, but not enough to ruin the entire night's sleep. Then, she ate two bottles (2 ounces) an hour apart, and didn't wake up again for nearly four hours. I almost switched to formula then and there, but decided to resume breast feeding after pumping last night's milk out this morning. Thankfully, the last of the icky stuff went out with that milk, and we've had a pretty good day.
Jason went back to work on Tuesday, making my productivity level plummett. I guess that's okay, though - our little stinkerbutt requires a lot of attention now, but I hear that gets better with a time. I still haven't gotten used to the fact that I'm a Mommy, but I'm getting there. Tomorrow I have a couple of errands I have to run, and I think things will sink in a little better when I have to haul Abigail to the bank and then to the doctor. I dread the bank because we'll have to stand in line, and I dread the doctor's visit because he has a tiny little parking lot with spaces entirely too close together. Getting a car seat in & out of the car with only a foot of maneuvering room is nearly impossible! Maybe I'll park on the street...
Well, dinner's nearly done, which means she'll probably want to be fed now. Funny how in tune she is with our eating schedule - she always wants to eat right when we start!
current mood:  tired
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| Wednesday, May 10th, 2006
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1:56 pm - Home Stretch
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Well, here we are, one day shy of the start of the 36th week. I'm 100% effaced and she's fully engaged. We'll find out Friday if I'm dilated at all. I'm thinking yes, because the contractions are now accompanied by lots of pressure, and I've started having cramps. The childbirth educator says I can't feel my cervix dilating, but honestly I think I do. I can feel when there's a lot of pressure on my cervix, because it hurts. She's had three kids, though, and is a certified (or registered or whatever) childbirth educator, so maybe I'm feeling something else. I'll ask the doctor on Friday. However, if we find that I'm dilated we'll have our answer, won't we?
One thing I know for sure about this kid is that she's going to be extra active. It seems to me that she NEVER stops moving. Back and forth and up and down and kicking and punching... when I sleep, I have to constantly change sides because she's pounding on the side I'm laying on. I think it's a game to her, a game she plays because it's BORING AS HELL being not born yet. Well, we've got a room full of toys and activity centers and shit for her to play with when she finally gets here, so there'll be no more baby boredom. What she doesn't have are any movies. We're going to resist the temptation to plop her down in front of the t.v. for as long as possible, which will most likely be right up until I feel like I'll lose my mind if I don't get some peace. I'm estimating that time to be approximately one month, but maybe a little less.
One thing I've been obsessing about lately is how I'll know if my water's broken. I've been assured again and again that I'll KNOW, but will I? What if I'm one of those rare women who can't tell? I AM one of those rare women who've had an itchy reaction to the pregnancy hormones, so I know it CAN HAPPEN. And if my water doesn't break, will I really know if I'm in labor? I've been reading up on that, and apparently the labor contractions will make my back hurt, so that's good to know. I've been having some serious BHs for so long that I seriously doubt if I could tell the difference between a labor & a BH contraction, if it weren't for that back pain. Take right now, for instance. I'm having a rather painful BH that's accompanied by pressure & a cramp. I can hardly walk through these contractions, but I *can* talk through them. Sounds just like early labor to me, except that I've been having this kind of contraction for weeks now. I'm just going to remember what Mom said last week: "If you think you may be in labor, you're not."
current mood:  hungry
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| Wednesday, April 26th, 2006
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11:16 am - Less and less
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Last Saturday we had the baby shower - it was a great time. My friend Jaime organized it and hosted it - the woman trumps Martha Stewart, I swear. We had cake and presents and an adorable baby boy that a friend brought. I got a good amount of stuff, including Grandma-to-be's promise to buy the crib & changing table Jaime's cousin is selling for $100, plus the glider and ottoman. Of course, the glider and ottoman part was retracted later when she discovered we won't accept a cheapie, but hey, we still have a crib & changing table, right? We also got the carrier we registered for (it's the strap-on-to-your-chest kind, a Jeep), and a lovely crib bedding set. And clothing. Lots and lots and lots of clothing. As well as a diaper cake that one friend spent more than an hour assembling.
With all that, we're just about set. We have to get little things like a baby monitor (which we won't really need for a while, because she'll probably not be put down, or at least left alone, for a good month), a boppy pillow, and a bath. It would have been nice if more than two of the 10 attendees had gone off of our registry instead of giving us more clothing than she's going to be able to wear, but at least she'll be nicely clothed now. Plus, she's got clothes all the way to 12 months, so we won't need to worry about that for quite a while.
On another note, I've been having more contractions lately, although I'm starting to wonder if that's just how it's going to go for me. Most don't hurt or have associated cramps, and although the NP at the doctor's office says it's still not good to have too many of those, I think there's not much to worry about. Besides, I have a doctor's appointment Friday morning, which is also the day after my 34th week begins. We'll find out then if I'm any more effaced, or even dilated. If so, and if little Abigail decides to come early, chances are she'll be just fine, with no need to go into the ICU. Well, there's one for you. I'm looking forward to an internal exam. Amazing what pregnancy does to a woman, isn't it?
Another thing I've noticed lately is that I've nearly stopped communicating with people. I'm really not sure why, except that I'm always tired and never have the motivation to do anything. Even the nightly walks, which I love, are becoming a hassle that I have to *make* myself do. As for the apartment, well it's a wreck. Mr. Minda is in electrician's school during the day and studying at night, so if I don't get things done, they don't get done. A friend offered help with the housework, and I'm getting just desperate enough to take her up on it. Maybe I can get it all done, though, if I pace myself and set reasonable goals. Like, tonight do 2 loads of laundry and vacuum the floor. Then tomorrow, dust the furniture and clean up the kitchen. Hmm... sounds like that just might work.
current mood: tired
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| Sunday, April 16th, 2006
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8:17 am - Fun and games, boys and girls!
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Two weeks ago, I was reading my weekly Babycenter update when I found out that more than four Braxton-Hicks contractions in an hour was cause for alarm. I was pretty sure I was having more than that, so I started noting them all. Turns out, I was having between 8 and 10 per hour. So, just for posterity's sake, I called up the doctor and let them know what was happening. I got put on medicine for a bladder infection, and promptly forgot all about it. Over the next week and a half, I still experienced the BH contractions, but since I was taking the medication, I simply accepted them as one more of the discomforts of pregnancy. When I went in for my next routine doctor's visit last Thursday, he took a look at my cervix and found I was "thinning". He proceeded to tell me all about how I need to take it easy - not bed rest, but take it easy - because we don't want her to be born until at least the 34th week two weeks away. He said some other stuff, too, but I was in shock and didn't hear him. Thinning means effacing, and effacing means the time is close. Ack!!! The time CAN'T be close! We don't even have her room ready! I'm not ready! Mr. Minda's not ready! HOLY SHIT!
After I calmed down, I realized he said I wasn't dilated at all, and reminded myself that if it was THAT serious, he'd have put me on full bed rest. Hell, I was still allowed to take short walks! That being the situation, and Thursday being a beautiful day, Mr. Minda and I went for a short (3/4 mile) walk, during which I experienced a bunch of BH contractions. I decided to start counting them again, and found that they were again back up to 8 to 10 per hour. The next morning I called the doctor, who told me to go to the hospital for monitoring and tests. That was fine. I understood why they were doing this, and felt that everything was going to be fine. What set me off was when I asked if I could wait for my husband to come home, in about an hour, they said no. THAT freaked me out. So, I called up a good friend who took off work to get me to the hospital (I was told not to drive). We sat in the hospital room (a nice one at that) for four hours, me with two monitors stuck to my belly, and Mr. Minda and my friend sitting staring at me. During that four-hour period, Abigail was extremely active, and my BH's were not. Then came the conclusion that I needed to go on bed rest for the weekend, and that my doctor would call with the delayed results of the fetal fibronectin test, and further instructions, that afternoon. I gave up on him calling at 4:30 and called his office only to find that they had closed up shop at 4:00, and that I had to spend my weekend in limbo. Thankfully the nurse had done an examination, and found that while I was a bit effaced, I was not dilated at all, and my cervix was positioned way to the back. One detail I found a bit alarming was that she felt Abigail's head with her finger. But, she wasn't concerned, so I'm not going to be too concerned.
Tomorrow I'll call my boss and let her know I won't be in until I hear from my doctor. I would have gone in anyway, but yesterday Mr. Minda and I visited a couple of bookstores, and my BHs went way up again, some with cramping and pressure. If a bookstore does that to me, I'm not getting anywhere NEAR work. The downside is this will be very bad for our budget (my sick time is all but gone), but the upside is that I will be able to spend a lot more time with Polly, one of our cats, who thinks that she's neglected and is at this moment throwing herself on the floor and giving me "come love me" eyes, and squeaking (because that's how Polly talks - in squeaks and honks).
Polly, you're going to get awfully tired of me by the time this is all over.
current mood: blah
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| Wednesday, March 29th, 2006
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11:21 am - Oh, no.
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A co-worker is having hot dogs with sauerkraut for lunch today, something I've hated for as long as I can remember. Now, however, the smell of that sour cabbage stuff was appealing. Ugh!!
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| Thursday, March 23rd, 2006
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9:29 am - See what happens?
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I realized today that I haven't updated here in over a week. I can only come to one conclusion: my LJ is for whining. I've had a pretty good week and a half, and never once thought about posting. What does it say about me when I want to vent my anger to the world, but keep my happiness inside? Probably that I'm perfectly normal. ;o)
Abigail has taken to kicking/punching/squirming at bedtime, and it's at once very cute and very annoying. When I lay down on my right side, she punches that side as if to say I'm squishing her. When I turn over to my left side (no small feat at this stage!), she does the same - punching and squirming on the left side. Finally I gave up and lay on my back. THEN she was quiet, but I was in awful pain. Ah, the joys of pregnancy :o)
Speaking of pregnancy, I'm at 29 weeks today. I think that means I'm 28 weeks along, since today starts the 29th week. However, I learned a couple of months ago that pregnancy math works very differently from regular math, and so have given up trying to make any sense of it. Anyway, Abigail is growing nicely, she's finally in the correct (head down) position, and her random kicks & punches have turned into something a lot more coordinated. She has her awake times, too. Starting at about 9:00, she's active around every two to three hours. This morning she started it up at 7:00, but I think that she just did that to make up for a sluggish day yesterday.
The most amazing thing about this week is that I've realized we have less than three months to go. Actually, we've got two months two weeks and three days till her due date. I plan on my last day before maternity leave being on May 19, leaving me with one month and three weeks of work to go. Just between you and me, though, I don't think I'm going to make it that long. At least not full time, anyway. Already there have been a few days I couldn't make it in because I was just too exhausted to get out of bed. Those were after long, sleepless nights, like Sunday night. I have a feeling that they'll be happening more and more often, too. Last night, I made sure I was good and tired before going to bed, and when I finally did get there I tossed and turned for an hour. When I finally fell asleep, I was woken up about five minutes later by a combination of Abigail's kicks, Mr. Minda going to the restroom, and the (very quiet) t.v. Some nights, it just doesn't come together. I really don't mind much, except that it makes life pretty difficult at work. I'll just have to wait and see what happens. Thank God I have an understanding boss!
So, on Saturday night I'll be meeting up with Debi, the pregnant woman I spoke about something like two months ago. It's taken us forever to finally make this dinner date, and I feel guilty because I know it could have happened sooner if I'd have worked a bit at it. Even now I'm wondering if I should cancel. I always knew I had a problem making friends, but it's more clear than ever now that it's because I shy away from people. So, I'm making myself do this. On Saturday we're getting together for dinner at Bandera, and we'll most likely have a blast. I'm sure we'll become friends - when we do get a hold of eachother, we have good conversations. I guess I'm just shy - what a funny thought.
Last but not least, the shower. I can't remember if I posted about the drama I'd been having with the ma-in-law, but it's all finally been settled. My friend is throwing one herself, and ma-in-law is throwing another one. The second one will be a few hours away, where the rest of her family lives. It's a little odd, and I'm not looking forward to the drive, but it's better than the scrapbooking party idea I nixed. Did I tell you how hard I had to fight to get that idea shelved? It was ridiculous. I would have let it go, but she'd done something worse that I didn't fight about, and I got screwed, so I felt it was a matter of principle to make sure that scrapbooking party didn't happen. I know she means well, but I figure if I don't stand up for myself now, she'll try to push me around when the kiddo gets here, and that just won't do at all.
Hey, there we are! A bit of negativity. Now I can end this entry, happy in the knowledge that I haven't strayed too far from the norm. :o)
current mood: calm
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| Monday, March 13th, 2006
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9:11 am - Bye, bye reality!
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This weekend, I realized just how stressed out I am. On the heals of that, I realized I hadn't realized before because it's a constant state of mind for me. Besides being a sucky state of mind, that kind of constant stress is bad for the baby. So, I've decided that for the remainder of my pregnancy, it's all butterflies and sunshine all the time. However, I can't just let things go like that. I have to plan for it, get things all set up for my peace of mind. That always includes doing stuff, which I began this morning.
At 5:00 this morning, I began working up our budget through June, the beginning of which month Abigail is due. By 6:00 I could see that we'll be able to pay our bills and eat and still have some money left over, so that's good. I didn't even include any tax refunds or my Paid Family Leave income, and hardly scheduled any pulls out of savings (since I haven't actually saved anything yet, only scheduled it, that's a good thing). So, stress-out number one gone. Can I go back to bed now, please? I'm friggin exhausted.
The second thing I'm doing is ditching politics. The congressional elections aren't until November, which gives me plenty of time after Abigail gets here to do my research. Mr. Minda is just going to have to talk to someone else about that for a while, and turn off that damnable talk radio when I'm in the truck. I've written my senators plenty this year and addressed my most important concerns. They can concentrate on impeaching the president while I concentrate on being as happy as possible.
Third, work. I get irritated a lot, and I need to stop that. It's going to be hard, but I have a few ideas on how to go about doing that. I realized at 6:10 this morning that I'm going to have to work full-time through April, so I need to get happy about being here because there simply isn't any other choice. Thankfully I enjoy (most of) my job, and get along with everyone here. Most of my irritation is my own fault, which is why it's going to be hard to stop being irritated.
Fourth, Mr. Minda and his messiness. I can't really say anything conclusively on that yet, because things have just been too hectic for the last month to be able to judge how anything is going to go. This coming weekend is going to be our first at home since the move, and my plans are comprised of getting the house clean and in order. I want to start inviting friends over, and that can't happen until the place looks decent. When we have regular company, we're both very good at keeping up with the cleaning. Now that we've moved out of the building with questionable construction, that's quite likely to happen.
So, there are my steps to avoiding and reducing my stress. What I absolutely can't forget is that I have to be *happy* about stuff. There are LOTS of things that make me happy. Seriously, I'm quite easy to please. I just got into a rut there for a bit, and let the negative stuff be more important than the positive stuff. So, while all of the above stuff is going to help reduce my stress level, it's this last step that's the most important. As long as I can remember how to be happy, I'll be okay.
current mood: tired
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| Thursday, March 9th, 2006
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1:58 pm - On the home stretch
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Today is a very, very important day: it marks the first day of the last trimester of my pregnancy. There are exactly 90 days left to go before Abigail's due date. Thank God this is a good budget week: we're buying the crib this weekend, and maybe a glider. I think gliders are oogly, but they're supposed to be the best for feeding, so I'll have to live with one. What I really want is a nice La-Z-Boy, but as they're about 4 times as expensive, I don't think we'll be going that route.
Anyway, Abigail is developing nicely. Into an Olympic runner, that is. She's started moving around so much, sometimes I don't even notice it anymore. She's gone even farther over to my right side, which makes sleeping on that side nearly impossible. When I lay down, she'll kick, and kick, and kick until I flip over. The problem is that the right side is the side I *want* to sleep on! I've had to give up sleeping on my tummy, and my next favorite, my back. I got used to sleeping on my right side so that I didn't have the body pillow between Mr. Minda and I (and because reading in bed is most convenient on that side, for lighting purposes), and it looks like I'll loose that as well.
Speaking of sleeping, I haven't gotten a good night's sleep in quite some time now. The slightest sounds wake me up, and with two cats nervous from the move, there's constant noise. Last night's disturbance was pretty damn funny, though: around 1:30 a.m. I heard a noise that sounded like it was coming from outside our bedroom window, which is near the walkway. After listening for a moment, I thought there might be a sick dog out there. I listened for a while and then got up and looked out on the patio, in the living room. I didn't see anything there, although Gizmo was looking out and was all fluffy because he'd been spooked. I wasn't sure what to make of that, since the patio was empty. I didn't hear anything else, though, so I headed back to the bedroom. Before I got there, though, it started again. This time I had no idea where it was coming from, and (here's the embarrassing part), I began to think we were haunted. It was a freaky, moany sound that didn't seem to have any origin. I stood still in the hallway for a few moments, and finally realized what it was: Gizmo was growling! Now THERE'S a funky sound! Anyway, it turns out there was a cat on our patio, and Gizmo was NOT happy. He was twice his normal size since he was all fluffed up, except his tail which was at least four times it's normal diameter. So, I pet him for a bit, and being petted in front of the intruder must have done the trick, because I didn't hear anything else after that.
At any rate, now that we're in the home stretch, I can finally admit to myself that I'm ready for this pregnancy to be over. I'd really like to have my body back. I will, however, miss those little kicks. They're just between Abigail and I most of the time, and when she's kicking, it reminds me why I'm putting myself and those around me through all this: because we're going to have a perfect, wonderful little girl who is going to melt the heart of anyone she meets.
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| Tuesday, March 7th, 2006
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9:43 am - It's all about ME
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Mr. Minda has been getting more and more anxious about my baby shower. There was a bit of drama with his mother, because she wanted to do something I did not want to do, and he was concerned that I wouldn't have one at all. The friend who was my Matron of Honor at my wedding hadn't said anything about doing the shower, and I didn't want to say anything, as she did SO much for the wedding. Turns out her husband told her someone else was taking care of it, so she just let it go. Apparently Mr. Minda said something to her about when the best time would be to have it, because he was going to throw it himself, by God. She realized her husband was wrong and immediately called me up to see if she could throw it. I contacted Mr. Minda's mom, who said "I can call your friend and she and I can work this shower thing out. And you can have a baby. How's that?" Cute, huh? I feel loved. :o)
In other awesome news, I *just* got an e-mail from a friend who has granddaughters (she started very early), and her daughter has offered to give us all her baby stuff she doesn't need anymore. We're going to get a bassinet, which means we won't have to buy that play yard thing for quite a while so can concentrate on getting a nice crib. There's also clothes and toys and other odds & ends. I haven't seen this particular friend in many months (although that's the way it is with her - she's the busiest woman alive), and I haven't seen the particular daughter who's donating all this stuff in years. That's not stopping them, though - I'm going to go this weekend to pick all this stuff up.
Sometimes, things just fall into place. Lately, that's happened quite a bit: the car, the apartment, and now these donated items that are going to save us a *bundle*. Oh, yes, there most certainly IS a God!
current mood: happy
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| Tuesday, February 28th, 2006
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11:34 am - Bla, bla, bla
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I'd like to open this post with a link to dooce.com, where comments are open on one thread. Comments on Dooce!! I am comment 786 of 1193. I shall live in infamy!
So, the move is done, thank God. We had enough help to get nearly everything moved on Saturday alone, so Sunday was for taking over little stuff that always gets left to the last minute, and cleaning. I have to say it again: thank God for my mother-in-law. She really took the lead in this (so much so that halfway through Sunday we started calling her Sarge), and got the place cleaned amazingly well. Nobody really let me do much, so I spent my time on Saturday emptying boxes for refilling, getting what wasn't too heavy out of the way, and doing the walk-through. It was enough, though - by the end of the day my feet were killing me and I couldn't keep my eyes open. The second day I did a lot of kitchen cleaning (except the oven; ma-in-law took care of that) and other misc. not-dangerous stuff, so I was even more beat Sunday night than Saturday. Yesterday, however, there wasn't anything left to do on the old apartment, so we turned the keys in a day early, and we didn't get a whole lot done on the new one. We figured we deserved a break and stopped at about 6:00. Not too shabby!
Last night was the first night in the new apartment that I didn't go to bed exhausted, and I can not believe how horribly I slept. Since getting pregnant, my sleep has been getting lighter and lighter, but last night was ridiculous. Every little noise woke me up, and with two exploring cats that meant I was waking up every 15 minutes or so. Then I had to get up to go to the bathroom at 11:30, and didn't really fall all the way asleep after that. I'm hoping this is mostly due to adjusting to the new apartment's sounds, but to be sure I'm going to be sure to be extra-tired when I go to sleep from now on.
Abigail's been kicking like she's running a marathon, or perhaps practicing her soccer moves. I have a feeling that may be part of the reason I'm not sleeping so well - who can sleep when they're being constantly kicked?! I love it, though. I'm getting more and more excited for her to make her appearance. There for a while I was really freaking out, wondering what I was thinking when I got pregnant. That's passed now, and the only panic left is the "holy shit there's only THREE MONTHS left and I need EVERYTHING!" panic. It's kind of a fun panic, though - all we need is a place for her to sleep, a place to change her (which we may already have, we'll see how that works), and a place for me to sit comfortably while feeding her. We enjoy shopping for her, so that's something to look forward to. The little stuff will come with the shower, I've been told, and what we don't get we can buy. We're saving major bucks by me planning on breast-feeding, so at least we don't have to worry about the cost of feeding her for six months or so. All in all, I think we're doing well.
And that's all that's going on in Minda-land. Well, there's more of course, but I'm afraid I'll never be as bold and daring as, say, Dooce. I tried to write about very personal stuff, and found myself deleting the entry five minutes later. Oh, well.
current mood: tired
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| Friday, February 24th, 2006
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11:50 am - Our Great Nation
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Today I was reading in the NY Times about BlackBerry's trial for patent infringement. What it boils down to is yes, they did infringe on another firm's patents, but BlackBerry warns that should they be required to cease all sales of their patent-infringing product, America will suffer.
The way I read it, BlackBerry absolutely did copy someone else's technology, sold it for years thanks to our slow-as-molasses legal system, and now that it's so prevalent that cessation of sales may cause productivity losses, may never have to stop selling this product at all. Yes, they've had to pay, however what does that matter when the product based on this copied technology has such incredibly high sales, and when it boosts their stock price? The only loser here is the company which holds the patent, a small business based in Arlington called NTP.
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| Saturday, February 18th, 2006
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7:40 am - Peek-a-boo!
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Last night at around 9:00, Abigail asserted herself like never before. She was doing gymnastics in my tummy, and we could plainly see her movements. Everything else was immediately forgotten as Mr. Minda and I watched her progress across my tummy.
The best thing about it was it looks like she's going to be kicking outward more, instead of inward. That's good for a couple of reasons: we get to see her moving, and I don't have to deal with the discomfort of having organs I've never felt before being bruised. It's also a little bad, though, because for the first time I've been getting indigestion. But who cares about a little discomfort? Not me: I'm carrying the next Mary Lou Retton!
current mood: cheerful
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